Wednesday, June 24, 2015

I can't Belize I'm doing this!

6/13/15
          I got up early this morning to take what could be my final decent shower and finish packing. I arrived at Ardmore promptly at 8:00 am.; 15 minutes early but still the last one there! My boyfriend called me to tell me bye and to have a nice trip, and it was at the very moment of hanging up that it dawned on me that I was about to leave everything I knew and had for a full 9 days. I started crying, and it was not until we arrived at the airport that I was able to fully cease the quiet sobs and tears. I had pulled myself (somewhat) together long enough to say goodbye to my parents, but had resumed as soon as our first group picture was taken. And as mentioned before, I did not stop.
          Why couldn't I stop? I think for a number of reasons: sleep depravation, the fact that I'll miss my family and my boyfriend, the reality of feeling like a fish out of water here at Ardmore, the fact that all of the girls were all in this big group talking and laughing at 100mph while I stood back overwhelmed; maybe I was just afraid. Scratch that- I WAS afraid! SO AFRAID! What am I even doing here? These aren't my friends--I don't know these people. I've never been anywhere but Africa. I'm going here completely alone... or at least it feels that way. So I cried. It was embarrassing, but I couldn't stop.
          I was reminded that Jesus was with me wherever I went; He stuck by my side loyally all those days in middle school when I sat alone; He wiped the tears off of my face when my heart was broken in Africa three years ago; He held my hand all through freshman year, and gave me peace when I was drowning in schoolwork this past year. I know that He won't allow His daughter to sit by herself in complete isolation--much less leave the country totally alone. Jesus will proudly announce me in front of His Father; declaring what? That I. Am. His.
          I'm not a sad little orphan on this trip; I'm the beloved daughter of The King!


Events:
-Bus ride to Charlotte
-Dinner at airport
-About a 4hr plane ride to Belize
-Long van ride to Baptist Training Center (our lodging for the week)
-Dinner at Cheers (Belizean restaurant with really good food... apparently 'Rice and Beans', and 'Beans and Rice' are two DIFFERENT side orders; 'Rice and Beans' is separate, and 'Beans and Rice' is mixed together)
-Settling in for the night

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